Who do you say that you are?

I’m not generally one to procrastinate, but occasionally I fall victim to that little voice of temptation. As I scrubbed the day-old stain–chiding myself for letting it sit so long that the stain had worked its way into the fibers of my shirt, spreading like some sort of disease–I couldn’t help but think that sin works in much the same way. The longer it goes without being confessed, the more it works its stain-disease into the fiber of my being, corrupting my identity.

I hate to be called a sinner. While the simple definition of a sinner is “one who sins,” the connotation in my mind is “one who habitually sins.” In other words, that’s their primary identity in God’s judgement. Yes, of course, I was once a sinner. I willingly chose to do what was wrong in God’s eyes, in the interest of self-gratification. But I am not that person anymore, thanks be to God!

Half my lifetime ago, the Spirit of God spoke quite plainly to me and I repented of my wrongful choices, allowing the blood of Jesus to wash me clean. As a result, self-gratification became wanting to choose the right and the good and the God-pleasing (admittedly not perfectly or instantaneously). I am no longer a sinner in God’s judgement. Rather, I am his beloved child, saved by his amazing grace!

Clearly and honestly, I do still sin. I live in a corrupted body and in a fallen world. Sometimes I willfully sin, but more often it is unintentional. And when the Spirit pricks me with stinging conviction, I turn to Jesus to confess, repent, and receive his cleansing forgiveness. And I do it quickly, lest the stain spread; this is no time for procrastination!

I know that, for some folks, referring to themselves as a “sinner-saved-by-grace” is what best helps them remember who they are in Christ, and aids them in choosing the right over the wrong. Certainly there is nothing wrong in that! However, for me, calling myself a sinner lowers the bar of expectation. It tempts me to feel helpless, and somehow still under condemnation (which is, of course, the enemy’s lie!). But when I claim my identity as a child of God, saved and cleansed by a price I was unable to pay, the bar is set higher…high enough that I have to reach for it. It prompts me to stretch myself by asking, in the words of St. Ignatius of Loyola, “What return of love can I make?

How we think of ourselves often determines our behavior. Who do you say that you are? Which way of identifying yourself best helps you make a return of the love that saves you? Questions worth pondering…

 

Forgiving God

Forgiving God may well be the first step in trusting him.

Does God need my forgiveness? Absolutely not! That would imply that God has done something wrong. He is God–incapable of doing anything wrong.

Do I need to forgive God? Probably. We all experience disappointment in life, and sometimes we blame God for it. Of course the blame is not his, but he is generous and so full of grace that he allows the blame to rest on him. For a while, anyway.

At some point, however, I am blessed if I realize that it’s not God’s fault that I am disappointed. It is mine. I most likely decided that I knew better than God, and so I did what I wanted to do–what I thought was best–rather than what God says is best. That means those consequences I was so mad about were absolutely my fault, not God’s, and it’s really me that needs forgiveness.

If I can see that God was right and I was wrong…

If I realize that he is so full of grace to allow me to blame him for my stubborn decision to have it my way in spite of his warnings…

If I repent of ever thinking that God needed my forgiveness…

If I ask God to forgive me…

If I accept God’s forgiveness…

I just might learn to trust him more fully.

Interestingly, this process repeats itself throughout the life of any Christ-follower. It’s how our faith grows.

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