Looking back… What’s your motivation?

looking backAs I pondered today’s reading from Genesis 19, verse 26 settled quite firmly into my thoughts, particularly as I remembered Jesus’ exhortation:

But Lot’s wife, behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.
-Genesis 19:26 [ESV]

“Remember Lot’s wife.” -Luke 17:32 [ESV]

What did Lot’s wife do that was so bad that she would become a pillar of salt? (Can’t you just picture her turning into little particles, scattering in the wind?) Scripture doesn’t tell us why she looked back, saying only that she did so as she fled Sodom with her husband, Lot, and their two daughters. We do know that it took some serious persuading for them to flee, and that Lot pleaded not to go too far.

The angel said to Lot that he could do nothing until Lot was safely in Zoar, the plain city that was to be spared at Lot’s request. As Lot arrived in Zoar, the Lord rained down sulfur and fire on Sodom and Gomorrah. But Lot’s wife was behind him, and she looked back. Did she intentionally lag behind, reluctant to leave her home? Or did she stop short of the safety of Zoar and turn to watch triumphantly as the Lord destroyed Sodom?

Only God knows what was in her heart when she turned to look back but, whatever motivated her action, it certainly caused her destruction.

Looking back… The beginning of a new year often is the impetus for me to look back on the previous year. Perhaps this is an annual practice for you, too. It’s not a bad one–in fact, it can be quite instructive. But there are two emotions that can really trip me up:

  • Pride. I can look back and be quite pleased with my accomplishments, allowing my ego to get puffed up. This can cause me to hold on to success as though it defines me, giving my life purpose. But what happens when God wants to lead me to something new? Am I willing to release that success, those accomplishments, and venture into uncharted territory?
  • Regret. I can look back and regret what I left behind or what I feel was lost. Perhaps I did allow God to lead me into something new, but it required leaving other things behind. Finding that I am in a place of uncertainty, am I longing for what was safe and familiar, not quite trusting that God will be faithful?

“On that day, let the one who is on the housetop, with his goods in the house, not come down to take them away, and likewise let the one who is in the field not turn back. Remember Lot’s wife. Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it.”  -Luke 17:31-33 [ESV]

But when I consider the context of Jesus’ admonition to remember Lot’s wife, I can rest assured that when my practice of looking back is motivated by the desire to see how God has been at work in my life the previous year…focusing on and celebrating his goodness and his faithfulness towards me…then I can rest assured that my life is secure and that I am safe in the place of refuge God has made for me!